Have you ever needed to be busy, to fill the silence, to fill a void, to maintain a sense of normalcy? It seems to be a difficult concept for some to understand yet I believe there are many of us who do this and many reasons why.
A question I have been asking myself of late is when is old age, how old must one be to be considered in your ‘older years’. With so many people still active in business in their 70’s that I know and admire, then the answer to myself is 80. So then how old should you be to retire… or is that a bygone concept. Do we ever really need to retire?
I’ve been told to not work so much and that I should take more time out. If I should take this advice I wonder if they will be there to scrape me off the floor should I sink that low, or if the emotional darkness should overwhelm me if they will visit and talk to me…
Advice is easy but I often wonder if this advice is coming at me as a means for us all to conform to the concept of retiring… of getting to that age when we should be slowing down…of all being the same. Why?
Why on earth should any of us retire if the drive and energy is there spurring us on. Enjoying the daily challenges, interacting with like minded people, being creative or just keeping busy …reveling in the fact that life is precious and can be fulfilled in so many ways. I think its personal.
For peace of mind I keep busy, the restlessness of my inner self and my emotional turmoil is pacified by busyness. Creating a direction, a reason for waking, and a sense of purpose. That does not mean that I don’t find the time to enjoy a coffee, chat with a friend, sip a wine and celebrate the day, or travel.
Its been about slowly finding my balance. As time becomes my equilibrium, a bit like a metronome that keeps pace of where I am and the changing beat, I can feel that rhythm alter, mirroring my sorrow and the acceptance of time, as well as the joy enjoyed, and the happiness felt. Its complex but it’s my reality.
Work helps set me free so why would I want to slow down, to grow old before my time because someone came up with the concept that work is a drudge and should only be done for a period of time. Someone also said women should be paid less than a man, should not be able to vote, should keep quiet…well… I say it’s time for a different reality.
Lets enjoy each other, only grow old when it suits you, find that peace within that lets you swim upstream and stand tall.
Fact is I’m in pain and will always be in pain. I’m also healthy and happy. Family and friends and work give me a reason to remain and to be me.
I stand tall and embrace each day, tackling each minute head on whether it is in pain or in laughter. I’ll keep fighting until life decides I’m done.
My beautiful daughter slipped out of this life in my arms before we could enjoy a new year together with our beautiful boy at our side. Today I acknowledge my mourning not just for Laila but also for Aidan as I face another year ending without them. However, I will raise my glass and celebrate the first day of a new year. It’s the circle of life, it’s the swing of my metronome, it’s the essence of who we are.
May the force be with you and 2018 be whatever you want it to be, dream big and reach for your star.
Onwards and upwards