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A fallen soldier was returned to Miami airport and the picture of his wife lying draped over the casket was a heartbreaking sight.
I have spent the past week visiting Civil war museums and WWII museums seeing rows of crosses and reading sad stories.
It’s not important how we lose, it is important that we never believe we have to stop grieving.
Yes, it is a process but we all grieve in different ways and we are not text book cases. Most of us will grieve forever. Those who have not experienced tragedy are full of words, of comfort, of telling us it is just a matter of time and then you will be better, it just takes time…breathe and get better.
But in the world of grief, time is forever.
I believe that we all need to learn tolerance for those who are bereft. The best way of doing this is to help us by remembering the small things that eat at us, that makes us sad and crumble.
Start with what is important, remember special dates. Such as birthdays, anniversaries, maybe Valentine’s day, even Christmas and Easter when some feel alone or notice the absence more acutely. These are the times when the pain hurts deepest and never abates as each year passes by.
It is these special days that make us sadder and the memories sharper.
Grief is absorbed into daily routines and memories occur at odd times during our days and nights. Sometimes a glimpse at a photo, an action, a deed, or a regular chore conjures up a memory, a face, a moment shared, a pain, a sadness.
We don’t like talking about it, we don’t like having to always say why we are sad, we don’t like having to remind everyone why.
It’s a wonderful feeling to know that others remember too and are celebrating with us, and sharing our journey. Such a relief and so special. It feels so comforting to be reminded that our loved ones touched others and will always be thought of and not forgotten.
Gone but not forgotten – loved eternally.
Aidan left us 20 Oct 2010 – too soon for me, I know I am selfish and would have kept him at any cost but life has a way of deciding for us.
Love cuts us to the core, memories give us joy and moments of sadness. I will take them all – as to remember and rejoice that beautiful soul who was my boy is a blessing, and one I hold dear.
Thank you to all who walk this journey with me
X Alison
