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Last week I sat at Maris’s final year service at school and was reminded how important ceremony is in one’s life. I watched as Father Andrew lit candles from a single blessed flame and passed them on to the line of young, soon to be adults. I’m sure few saw the significance of the passing of the flame but hopefully as they grow the will take cognisance and become more aware of the interconnectedness of us all.
Aleisha, Jackie and I ventured forth to Cape Town and celebrated Aidan at a wake we held for him on the 20th Oct. It’s difficult to put time to death as I cannot comprehend that Aidan is never coming back as he feels close and a part of me but a year has passed and so through ceremony we honour and remember him.
Zoe and Glen sang, John played a saxophone solo, Debbie talked and Karen read. We were surrounded by love, friends and family who toasted A, swopped tales of younger years, shared food, laughed and shed a tear. Aidan’s life had two halves, the before 15 in Cape Town and the after in Brisbane so, it was fitting to share the missing part of his life with those who shared the beginning.
Oh Hail the Pirate Chef.
The other day in conversation it was mentioned that a man I know is “trying to be happy” in his marriage. Trying to be happy, what does that mean and where does it leave his wife knowing that the person you live with is half there, half committed, half happy – if even …or is she the last to know I wondered.
How cool it must be to advocate all responsibility and cop out to living and committing to the full. Being half present, half aware, trying but always doubting, perhaps always looking for something to fill the half empty.
To me it’s a basic life principle. You only know this minute and you can only recall the past. What if you were to die in the next instant but you do not know that yet. Why waste time that you do not know you have. It is important to live in the now.
For some it seems easy to ride the wave of excuses such as – I had a terrible childhood and it defines me or I’ll hang onto this cement block that chains me to my unhappiness because it’s easier to make excuses and lay blame rather than to take responsibility for my part, accept, turn the other cheek, face it, leave it behind and move on and find fulfilment.
The flame of life is passed on to uphold that which is blessed not which compromises or is selfish.
Forge ahead, remain in the now and take each moment as it presents to you as a gift. Find the joy in the now. Embrace the now. Live in the now as it is all you really have and it might be your last. Don’t waste life, some have died for you to realise how precious and what a gift life is. Live it.
May you be blessed.
Love Alison
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Aidan Cale Needham
25/06/86 – 20/10/10