Moving is not hard for me as it’s a decision made, a time to go, to start again with new opportunities.
It is the packing that is hard.
The unpacking of memories, opening them up, reliving them and then having to consciously decide which mementos to keep and which memories to keep without the tangible reminders is tough.
So many are childhood memories of mine, of my family, of my children and of my adopted kids or for another word – stepkids.
The honesty of youth is a beautiful thing, which I found in the handmade cards, the artwork, those spontaneous mementos that were left on my pillow, the gifts, and the ‘things’ they left behind.
I miss that honesty and easy love that came with it.
The journey of growing up is often clouded by misguided advice, peer pressure, friends and ego. The path of adulthood is not easy and is strewn with obstacles and hurdles.
Mine was tumultuous! I think I managed because I never blamed anyone for it I just accepted what life threw at me and kept moving forward.
I kept my head high, my focus forward and I loved those who walked beside me, who loved me, cared for me and who shared those teenage years and held my hand into adulthood. We laughed and cried, had wonderful times, down times and a few battles and demons but we kept walking, together.
Looking back I don’t believe any of us had an easy journey. Those that know me have heard me say that I believe we experience hell on earth and by Jove I have enough character!!!
I think it’s important in order to survive to not take on board other people’s issues but to listen, acknowledge and offer support. I cannot be anyone’s champion just as no one can be mine.
My life’s greatest lessons have been:
– Don’t judge (there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you) unless you are perfect
– Be respectful to others, always treat everyone as you want to be treated. Rudeness destroys all your own good
– Don’t run away from situations and life – the situation will always reappear, trip you up again and again until you have dealt with it
– Communication is king
– Don’t hide behind texts and emails – transparency is a wonderful thing and face to face or phone calls prevent misunderstanding. The written word can never be erased.
– Be honest but don’t be mean – those words can come back and bite you
– Be careful what advice you give – you will sleep easy as advice is easy but the advice you have given might cause undue stress and sleepless nights to the recipient
– Be kind – it is not hard to be kind as behind every surface is a story
– Don’t blame your parents for your failings – successful people never do -examine your character and nature and actions.
Our individual journeys are just that. It is irrelevant what background or family circumstances we all come from. It’s a bit like school. Once you have moved on who asks you about school… Parents show children opportunity and give direction and guidance. Don’t bite the hand that has fed you and got you headed towards adulthood.
We need to all find the spirit, the independence, the tenacity, the staying power, the strength and joy of succeeding within ourselves.
We can all go through life blaming everyone around us for our failures and circumstances or we can stand tall and get on with it and say thank you for giving me the tools I needed to begin my journey and venture forth in adulthood.
All parents good and bad I do salute you for persevering as being a parent is a thankless job at times. We do it because we just love them, we watch them grow with delight, the childish honesty is a glorious thing and challenges us, the fun we have with them and to see them grow makes it all worthwhile.
Later the friendship that develops with them as they settle, and start to recognise the journey they are on, is familiar as they have witnessed ours. I wish Aidan had managed to stay awhile longer as we had reached that place.
So, after many smiles, many tears, much sadness in my heart I have packed away the unpacked memories to be stored and reopened another day.
I’m moving towards a new set of memories and will carry the old ones safely with me, close to my heart.
Love to you all
x
