Aidan …
Hi All,
Life seems to have kept me on its rocky road and here I sit trying to make sense of it all. One thing I do know is that I had the most wonderful son who bought me unbelievable joy and through his determination a new country , new friends and the opportunity to give him the best health care possible.
Aidan walked my journey beside me not always as my boy but also as a man who listened, supported, encouraged me and laughed with me and for me and through his humour and gentle spirit he was my foundation stone. Not many mothers have the opportunity to be a single mom, to raise their boy through tragedy, to move country together, to share such life changing events, to be able to talk to each other, to look each other in the eye with honesty and to have to face your son when he says “ I have a brain tumour and I am sorry that you have to go through this again” and for him to hear me say “ I’m sorry because I feel so responsible”.
I have always told Aidan how much I love him. I have held him in my arms when he felt so helpless and felt he was waiting to die. Just as he has held me as an eleven year old boy when Laila died. Together we have travelled a journey fraught with challenges, sorrow but also immense love, laughter and joy.
Aidan met Aleisha when they were at school and I remember being his taxi so that he could visit her back then at fifteen, just as friends. I know that our relationship was hard for her to understand but we overcame those obstacles and she has grown and matured beyond her years. Her loyalty and love for Aidan has known no boundaries and has been a delight to witness. She is a wonderful young woman and I am just so sad for her that she has had to experience so much so soon.
Married for ten days and then having to organise a funeral when for others their future would have just been starting. A asked me to look after her which I will do and as they were planning their honeymoon to Cape Town she has asked her mom and I if we could all go together as she would like to see and get to know the land of Aidan’s birth.
The magic of numbers – they married on the 10-10-10 , second wedding so that she could wear her beautiful dress was on the 15-10-10 and then our boy crossed over on the 20-10-2010.
I owe many of you letters or return calls but I am lost for words at present and am trying to hold myself together and deal with each day as it dawns. My whole life has changed and after being so focused on A these last two and half years it is difficult to have time. But time I have and life looks and feels different.
So, sorry for this group mail but I just wanted to say hi and to thank you all from my heart for all the support I receive. The emails, cards, flowers, messages, calls etc have touched me deeply and kept me going. I am so blessed to have Aidan as my son and you in my life.
10-10-10
15-10-10
The Road’s End
When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too long and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once had, miss me but let me go.
For this journey that we must all take, and each must go alone.
It’s all part of the master’s plan, a step on the road to home.
When you’re lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends you know.
And bury your sorrow in doing good deeds; miss me but let me go.